my time has ended

well....it's the first time i am writting here,so i donno how to start.i am feeling,again,defeated.some one said that u really treasure something only when u lost it.well,i would like to lose my life and maybe then i will treasure what i had.i just do not feel comfortable anymore.i cannot find my place in the middle of this crowd that surrounds me.it feels like the world is spinning around but has forgotten to tell u in which direction.i cannot take it anymore.i just want it to stop,but i know that it is impossible.yes,i had my share of glory and beautiful moments but it looks like those moments are long gone and never to come back.that's how it's supposed to be.
another person said that you are borned alone,u will die alone buy in life you must find a way not to travel alone.i hadn't travelled all by myself all the time, i must admit...but...somethings aren't ment to share and cannot be understood,not even to and by your closest friend.somethings are ment to deal with alone,all by yourself.and if u are too week,than u lose and u must accept your lost.i've lost...and i have to resign,to submit my fate.i feel like i've played my role in front of an empty house or in a front of an audience to concerned in other activities and do not have time to see my performance.there is no one to applaud,no one to say:"don't worry...next time it wiil be better".there won't be a next time...not for me.not anymore.

i guess i'm just trying to say that i am down,so down that i have the impression that i will never rise again.i do not see any light,i do not have any hope.not now.i just want to end it.once and for all.
maybe tomorrow it will be better,although i do not know when this tomorrow is going to come and i do not know if i want it to come.
done my stupid journal entry.sorry for making u lose your time.